It was late 2015, I was in and out of hospital for months on end, blood tests, stool samples, x-rays and cameras down both ends as nobody, not even the specialists knew what was wrong with me.
I couldn’t drink water without vomiting, rapidly lost 12% of my weight, my skin was pale white and I had warts growing all over my body as my immune system was shutting down.
After months of seeing specialists, having blurry vision, chronic bowel movements and vomiting fits, I decided to see a naturopath who asked one simple question… Are you stressed?
I broke down in tears because the amount of stress I was under was insane.
I was 2.5 years into enduring such an extremely toxic relationship that it left me physically crippled and emotionally destroyed.
Throughout the relationship I allowed myself to be gaslit, physically overworked and trampled on emotionally until I didn’t know who I was any more. My confidence was completely eroded right to the point of not being able to make simple decisions without fear of verbal abuse.
My boundaries were completely crossed for years on end, my $150,000 savings was gone, my businesses were failing miserably, my health had deteriorated from being an internationally competitive athlete to being stuck in hospital beds.
Worst of all it felt like my soul had been removed from my body and I was walking around so empty and void of any life force. I was so disappointed in myself, I felt alone, unworthy and useless.
As a high performer, I pretended I was fine because I didn’t want people to think I was failing.
A few months later with the help from some friends, I ended the relationship. It didn’t take long for the physical symptoms to disappear and for colour to return to my skin.
But despite the majority of physical symptoms fading, the emotional scarring was so deep that the lens in which I saw myself was completely warped.
I felt uncertain on how to act, I barely smiled, I had lost touch with my own values and genuinely didn’t know who I was anymore. The desperation to get my old self back again led me to the only things I could think of which was to jump back into physical training and setting some audacious goals. I needed a massive physical challenge to give me something to focus my attention on and decided to attempt a Guinness World Record that had been on my bucket list for years.
During the 12 months of training leading up to the world record attempt I still didn’t feel like myself. The whole time I felt that I was trying to prove a point, not necessarily to anyone else, but to myself that I was a worthy human being.
I had never experienced this before, my actions were driven from desperation and not inspiration like they had been previous to the relationship.
On the 25th of September 2017 I successfully achieved the Guinness World Record for The Most Strict Muscle Ups Completed in 24 Hours!
This was without question one of the greatest accomplishments of my life!
I was elated and high on life, this feeling was familiar from my past successes, I loved it, I was back to my normal old high performing self, I felt on top of the world again!
But unlike past successes, the feeling of ‘normal high performing self’ only lasted about 4 weeks before the darkness and negativity reappeared causing my heart to sink and my self worth to crumble.
No matter what I did I couldn’t shake this internal feeling of emptiness and this negative voice in my head telling me that I wasn’t good enough.
What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I doubting myself? Why do I feel so empty and alone?
Any external achievement made no difference to what was happening internally, I felt broken and quietly feared that no matter how hard I tried I would never actually be happy or amount to anything.
The dreams I had only a few years prior just seemed so far away to the point that I couldn’t even comprehend how it would be possible for someone like me.
I’d always felt like I’d live an inspiring life, be a role model, have financial independence, have a beautiful relationship, be fit and healthy, yet I didn’t feel deserving of any of those things.
How could I inspire anyone when sometimes just getting out of bed or getting up to walk the dogs was a struggle?
There are too many occasions to count where I would hold resentment towards my two dogs for even being in my life because they felt like more of a burden than a benefit.
I felt worthless and heavy, but what kept me going was that even during the toughest times there was this tiny voice at the back of my mind that kept telling me to ‘keep going’.
I think we all know deep down we’re capable of more, I knew it too, but I just couldn’t see what that looked like or how to move forward from this pit I was living in.
I was working as a personal trainer and trying to build an online business which was bringing in about $200 a week when I bumped into a man at the gym who mentioned that he taught and certified people in hypnotherapy.
My body reacted with a feeling I hadn’t felt in a while…
There was something inside of me that got excited around that notion of learning more about psychology because I'd always been curious about what made people do what they do.
The potential of this idea felt thrilling, it stimulated me, it was something exciting, something fresh, and most of all I think it just gave me hope and something to look forward to.
So, there I was 5 days later, sitting for lunch with a man I’d just met, talking about becoming a Certified Master Hypnotherapist.
My entire body said yes to his proposal and I paid cash that same day to attend the training.
The possibility for change was like quenching the thirst of a man stuck in the desert, I saw a glimmer of hope.
Little did I know that the program I’d just enrolled into was going to be the catalyst for my own personal comeback story.
The training went well, I fully applied myself and became confident with my new skills, but gaining skills was nothing compared to an experience that touches the centre of your soul.
On the final day of training we had to do a visualisation process, and during this particular visualisation we went back in time to the day we were born.
A lot of people in the room were already in tears as they reflected on their childhood but it didn't affect me much, however, things were about to take a massive turn.
As we went forward in time, beyond the present moment to a time five years in the future, we had to walk into our dream home, walk into a bathroom and look at ourselves in the mirror.
Our future self was then instructed to give us the wisdom we needed in order to live the best life possible.
I was curious to what my future self was going to tell me.
My future self looked at me, straight in the eye…
But for some reason he didn't say a word…
He didn't give me any advice…
He just looked at me with absolute disgust and disappointment…
Enough that it cut right through any pride I had left…
Although nothing was said I received the message loud and clear…
His silence and stare penetrated my soul so deeply because I’d felt it for years, the fact that I wasn’t living up to my potential…
I couldn’t deny it any longer…
Facing the reality that I was not even close to where I wanted to be in life completely broke me.
I wanted to be sick, the emotional pain was like venom being injected into my system which caused me to start sobbing uncontrollably.
I sobbed all the way through the end of the visualisation.
I went to the instructor and cried on his shoulder, just an uncontrollable flood of tears.
It was like years and years of sadness coming to light. Years of holding myself back, not speaking my truth, being scared of people's opinions and not letting all of my dreams and deepest desires express themselves.
Eventually I stopped crying, but for four weeks afterwards I was deflated and an emotional wreck.
It was exactly what I needed as it was the catalyst for the biggest change in the trajectory of my life.
It’s almost as if all the crying was clearing out the heaviness and doubt from my body.
I decided to study Neuro Linguistic Programming, Time Line Therapy™, Psych-K™, and dive into as many mentorships as I could afford.
What I experienced during those courses was not just inspiration, but also breaking through the personal layers of resistance within myself, and with each layer spawned a new quality of life.
More self worth, more self love, more financial abundance and greater health and clarity.
I launched my coaching program and within 24 months had made hundreds of thousands of dollars, more money than I had ever dreamed of receiving.
One weekend even bringing in more money than I’d earned in the last three years combined, all whilst helping others overcome their challenges. I even had the privilege of speaking at events alongside some of my personal heroes such as Tony Robbins and Dr John Demartini.
It really is true, your mind is a double edged sword that can either be your greatest enemy or your greatest asset.
We are not our current circumstances, those are transitory…
When we can first admit to ourselves that we aren’t living up to our potential and commit to doing something about it, then nothing can stop us achieving the life that we want to live.
We all have a hero inside of us.
It’s society's conditioning and past life events that have caused you to suppress that inner hero, but deep down you know that it's calling for you to let it out.
Stop holding yourself back.
It’s time to do what you really want to be doing.
It’s time to be who you are destined to be.
I see a future where the majority of people are stepping into their power and letting their natural God given gifts flourish.
So I've committed my life to helping people unlock that hero, operate at their full potential, and achieve the levels of success and fulfilment that they know is possible!
If you know you're capable of so much more and want to experience your full potential but are feeling stuck or unsure how to move forward then below are two options.
1. Book a complimentary Discovery Call so that I can see what's really going on and help you formulate a plan to move forward.
2. Join me for the DestinyOne Event where we map out a complete game-plan for you to live a life 100% by design that is full of passion, purpose and success! You can read more through the link below:
Sending you all the love and greatness that you deserve!
Become More, Live More, Give More!
John xxx
